I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
