Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
