I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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