What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
