Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
