Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
