Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
