i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
