don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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