I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
