12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
