piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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