You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
