Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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