If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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