this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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