you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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