all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
