I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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