I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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