I could have mohawked her pubes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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