Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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