But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize