It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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