I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
