I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
two words: eviction party
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
