I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
