miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
