Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
