Swine flu. Run for my life!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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