I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
