3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
