I heard we made out
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize