a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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