What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I can't trust your balls anymore.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
