That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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