You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
