You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize