apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
