She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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