He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
