Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
