I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize