i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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