i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
