Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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