worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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