Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry douchedouche hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(513): View more from Ohio

just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.

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(248): View more from Michigan

My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry

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(260): View more from Indiana

I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"

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(802): View more from Vermont

My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week

(475): View more from Connecticut

How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple

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(417): View more from Missouri

Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.

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