My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
