OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
