He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
