If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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