We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
