my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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