if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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