weddingsv make me drug and hornr
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize