I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
