i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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