the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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