i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
