i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
