well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
