Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
