Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
