Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
