He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize