You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
