ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
