i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
