Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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