Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
